Sunday, 17 April 2016

It's all about the power

My experience with a narcissist has been quite devastating. He has moved on and probably doesn't give me a second thought, unless he wants to gloat that he has found someone who is so much better than me. I on the other hand feel as if my life has been taken away. I feel angry and hurt that I didn't get the respect that his new supply has. Even if he thought he liked me in the beginning, the moment he realised he didn't then he could have walked away, but he didn't, he kept me in his life secretly.

Deleting me off social media was one of his favourite ways of controlling me. If I made a comment that could show we had more going on than what the outside world knew, he would either delete the comment or delete me, but send me private messages apologizing and how his life is so messed up etc. etc. all woe is me, please feel sorry for me, which I did. So I accepted his treatment of me and the more low I became the more I accepted the situation. At one stage in the relationship I didn't come out of my bedroom for months, he was the only person I communicated with, my abuser, he made me feel that I couldn't live without him. 

The covert narcissist

  1. Highly materialistic 
  2. Expert liars 
  3. Hypnotic
  4. A master of manipulation
  5. Emptiness, seems to have something missing that you can’t quite put your finger on
  6. Stubborn, rarely apologising unless they want something from you
  7. Ability to make you feel guilty, even when something is not your fault
  8. Entirely self centred; they are the centre of their own universe
  9. Projecting their insecurities and defects onto you
  10. Very sensitive to constructive criticism
  11. Inability to form intimate relationships
  12. Inability to feel genuine remorse
  13. Blaming others for their problems
  14. Low emotional intelligence
  15. Extreme lack of empathy
  16. Superficially charming
  17. Two-faced 
  18. A victim mentality.   
It can take a while to see these traits. The traits you see when you first meet a narc.. is basically your dream man. Whatever it is you want in a man, 'the narc' will morph into that person. He is highly intelligent when it comes to figuring out what you want in a man and he finds this out very quickly after meeting you. If you have something he wants, i.e. a lifestyle or the fact you are well liked and have a good circle of friends, if you are pretty and will look good on his arm, then 'the narc' will value you - for a while.  If you are not considered so pretty or for some reason he doesn't want his immediate circle knowing about you, but you can offer him other things to his life then he will keep you a secret, while making you think that if you stick it out then one day you might get what you want. He will never truly commit to telling you what you want to hear but will imply and make you believe. .A very cruel and degrading thing to do to a person.